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Jamie Rea


Why Sex Numbers Don’t Matter

“Everybody wants to eat the sausage but nobody wants to know how it was made.”

“What’s your number?” This is a question that most of us have probably been asked at some point in our dating lives.

That awkward moment when she turns to you and asks what your sex number is after you just penetrated her to orgasm 12 times in the past hour. I mean, while she appreciates your obvious talents, she can’t help but question the probable high number of practice rounds you had to fire off to get to that level, right? Or when you gush every time you talk about her blowjob-giving skills, you can’t help but wonder how many dicks she had to suck to get to that level, right?

How could you not be curious? Thing is once we hit a certain age (say 25+) we learn it’s best not to ask these questions. Why? Well we suddenly lose the desire to run through the past however many years of sexual history to find out all the crazy shit they’ve done, or had done to them. At a certain age, it doesn’t matter. We except that they’ve been around the block and back, so this question is something for younger couples still in the process of making their sexual history. But I’m here to tell you, regardless of your age, sex numbers don’t matter. They will bring about more questions than they will answers.

Let me run through all the plausible scenarios to explain why you can’t win.

What if she says a high number?

If we ask a girl her number and she says some obscenely high number, our first reaction is probably going to be “W-H-O-R-E!” But there are a whole long list of variables that can explain why her number is high and why it’s not a bad thing at all.

She’s older and has been having sex for over a decade, so it’s only natural that her number is going to be high because she’s been at it a long time.

She hasn’t had many relationships, so it’s been a constant string of flings and new partners that have tallied her number up like a golf score. Sound promiscuous? Well, say she’s single for four straight years — she has sex with one new person every month (which isn’t that much at all), that’s 12 people/year, which ends up being 48 people in those four years.

She has a high sex drive so her high number is merely a reflection of her need to have a lot of sex. And this is supposed to be a bad thing?

She has had a lot of sex because she doesn’t give a shit what other people think of her, so she does what she wants. If she wants to have sex with some dude she’s attracted to, then she goes and does it. Maybe this “I don’t give a fuck” attitude is what drew you to her in the first place.

She views sex the same way guys do. When you find these girls, you should treasure them. There are enough guys who are stuck dating girls that refuse to give blowjobs, or are virtually asexual, to know these girls are rare and special.

Then again, her high number makes the likelihood of running into guys that have entered her before extremely likely. To the point that every guy she even has a conversation with makes you say, “So let me guess, you’ve fucked him before…” That is not a situation you want to put yourself in. You will just cripple yourself with anxiety and jealously.

See, we want the girls who know how to fuck us right, but we don’t want to deal with the negative repercussions and baggage that come along with it. That’s why it’s best to just not ask the question in the first place.

What if she says a low number?

Your first reaction is probably going to be “Yeessss!!!” You got a girl that’s relatively untapped. You got there before the crowd. You found the closest thing you will find to a virgin in your twenties.


She probably won’t be good in bed.

She probably will be timid to try the crazy things you want to try.

You don’t really feel like teaching a girl how to have sex. You are in your sexual prime and would rather not waste it on some girl who’s still riding with training wheels.

The idea of teaching a girl how to suck your dick without grinding your dick off seems like a dangerous idea. I mean, the likelihood she doesn’t get it right the first time is high.


The fact she’s definitely clean and free of any STD’s makes you happy.

The fact she’s super tight makes the sex more difficult, but it still makes you happy.

The fact she’s so tight means you have to spend more money on lube, which is expensive but necessary and worth it.

The fact very few guys have been there before you makes you feel like you’ve discovered a brand new product nobody’s heard about. Also, the few guys she’s banged don’t even live in your city. You got there…before anyone else in your city. This is amazing.

The fact she’s been with very few guys puts your competitive male mind and ego at ease.


You find out that she’s had very few sexual partners, but she’s had a lot of sex with those few partners. In other words, she only really has sex with people she has relationships with.

This is good because you know she knows how to have sex and she’s still going to be cleaner than a girl with a high number, but relationship sex is a lot more intense than fling and one-night stand sex. One-night stand sex is just two selfish people on top of each other working towards their own goals.


Relationship sex is sweating, handholding, stare deeply into my eyes “I fucking love you” sex. She’s had sex with a few people, but she’s gone to the ass and back with those few people. Now that’s all you can think about. But then again, knowing her relationship history will probably help you to better understand her. Yeah, you can’t escape this one.

Point is that none of the scenarios really end up in a good place. When you like someone hearing about sexual friends from their past is going to be hard to hear. That’s why you just shouldn’t go there, unless streams of guys she knows tell you how lucky you are because your girlfriend gives the best blowjobs. I mean, maybe then you should ask the question, at least to find out if you’re the first one to tame the neighbourhood drinking fountain.

But I get it. I understand the temptation when you meet someone you like who is really good at fucking you. You want to know their sexual history so you can figure out whether or not you want to have a future them. But. Asking too many questions is only going to make you question something that shouldn’t be questioned. You like this person. They fuck you right. Stop right there. Unless you’re a teenager and just lost your virginity within the past few years, you should know well enough that they definitely had to fuck and suck a lot to get to the level they’re at now.

High number. Low number. No number. They don’t matter to grown ups.

Just as we all want to eat the sausage but don’t want to know how it was made. A grown up knows well enough that when they find someone who fucks them right, not to question how many times or how many people it took to learn how to fuck that well. They just appreciate the gift that someone else’s hard work gave them.

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